We are a couple for more than 8 years now and honestly it’s been quite a ride. When we first met about 11 years ago we were both still in a relationship. It was at a yoga class on Ibiza. He was the teacher, I was the student. We were intrigued by each other. Although complete opposites in many ways, there was something… And that something didn’t let me go. I could feel there was something important to discover with this man. He made me curious. I made him curious.
We decided to join our forces and create retreats together. Soon after we started a love affair. Something I am not proud of, but it was a force so strong that we couldn’t ignore. I guess what connected us on our deeper level was our common longing for Truth, for Freedom. When I was with him I could feel my potential, my path, our potential and our path. It was like a breaking free from the rules of society and years of conditioning, a deep opening of the Heart and welcoming of Pure Bliss. So I went along for the ride, which then caused a lot of pain and drama for everyone involved.
The beginning of our love story was quite intense and it kind of set the tone for the unfolding of our relationship.
Even when we both separated from our former partners, at first we didn’t decide to be together. We needed to heal the wounds from all the chaos that was caused and get our heads clear again. But the passion and love between us was so strong that it didn’t took very long before we found each other again and kind of started our relationship. I say kind of, because from the beginning on it was an on/off relationship. He wasn’t really ready to fully commit and I was dealing with some serious abandonment issues. So I would rather say our ‘healing journey’ together began. Constantly pushing each other buttons, triggering the shit out of each other and making up again with a lot of love making and pizza’s haha.
After a few months we decided to leave the island for a bit to cool down, leave everything behind us and went to Bali and India together. Also during that trip we broke up several times. But we always found our way back to each other again, stronger and a little wiser. Our love making kept deepening and we both felt we were on to something Big. When we were in Varanasi, India (of all places!) – we discovered I was pregnant. We were really happy, because from the very beginning Wouter said to me ‘I know you are going to be the mother of my child’ and I always felt it was true. We knew it was destined to happen.
So here we were; not even a year together, in an unstable relationship, travelling in India with our last money and no home or base to go back to whatsoever. The initial happiness soon made place for worry and fear. We flew back to Holland to stay with family and come up with a plan. The first trimester of the pregnancy was really hell. So much fears came up for the both of us. We started to see a pattern in our triggers, we were constantly touching upon our own deep childhood wounds.
When our gorgeous daughter was born things got even more intense. Suddenly being parents with a newborn turned our world upside down. His longing for freedom and space grew even stronger as well as my longing for security and commitment.
To cut a long story short, we wanted to be together and were super in love with our creation Isabelle, but at times it felt impossible. So much misunderstandings, fights and break-ups. We even broke up once for more than 10 months! It took us many years to truly see the triggers, understand their underlying trauma and nature of our pains. But we slowly started to heal and experienced our love deepening.
What kept us together over the years was for sure our commitment to Truth and growth above all else. We didn’t settle for half truths to protect our ego’s and have always been willing to get to the bottom of things. Not giving up when things get tough. Sometimes temporarily, but always coming back to each other. Knowing that life is essentially good and Love is our true Source.
When we now look back, we see such the huge transformation we went through together. We are really tasting the sweet fruits of our devotion to Truth and the work we have done to keep rising in Love. This potential that I felt between us 11 years ago became our reality. I sometimes still can not believe the depth of our love and the joy of being a couple for more than 8 years now. Its like we have finally landed together in beauty and bliss. We also know there is always more to discover, so we keep on learning, deepening and expanding into something bigger than we can ever grasp with our minds…
We feel very inspired and motivated to share with other couples the insights, practices and rituals that helped us over the years to rekindle our love over and over again. Do you wanna join our next Sacred Couples Retreat on Ibiza 23-29 July? Sign up now!!